


The Gertrude Diaries: The Truth Untold

by mrenae



Category: Hamlet (1996)
Genre: #Hamlet with a happy ending, Announcement, Love/Hurt/Comfort, Marriage, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:28:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26691433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrenae/pseuds/mrenae
Summary: Hamlet with a happier ending and Queen Gertrude as the narrator.
Relationships: King Hamlet/Queen Gertrude, Queen Gertrude/King Claudius, Queen Gertrude/Prince Hamlet





	The Gertrude Diaries: The Truth Untold

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while back, but thought I should share. It was both enjoyable and emotional to write, but I just thought Hamlet and his family deserved a happier ending. Enjoy!

The Gertrude Diaries: The Truth Untold

Prologue:  
Hamlet was the only child that I was able to give life; I had suffered 3 miscarriages, prior to Hamlet's birth.  
I never told this to anyone, nor even to my late husband, King Hamlet. He was a good man & a devout king; he would always rap me in his arms, when I needed a shoulder to cry on. When I heard the sound of Prince Hamlet's soft cry pierce the silence, I felt something like never before---pride. This pride was being able to give life, even after loss. I glanced down at the small, tender prince sleeping soundly within my arms. God had given me a gift---a gift that I will treasure forever. I guess there is hope beneath the suffering.

Ch. 1: Long Live the King  
(About 30 years later) It was a cold day in Denmark. I rushed to the orchard of my castle, still dressed in my nightgown, to take a morning stroll. I usually took them alongside my husband, King Hamlet, but we have been fighting lately. I figured that I should get some fresh air on my own. As I walked, I wondered where he was. I had not seen him since our last argument the night before; he did not come to bed that night. I wanted to make up, so I was desperate to find him. I asked the guards, but they said they were unaware of his whereabouts this morning. Just then, I realized something; maybe he was at the little bench where we always used to sit together.  
When I reached the familiar area, I stopped in my tracks. For a while, I stopped breathing; I found the poor king face down, unconscious. Was he dead?? Shivering throughout my whole body, I brought his hand in mine to check for a pulse. He had no pulse; He was gone. Before I could do anything else, I burst into tears. How I would miss the times of joy that we shared. At that moment, I wished that I could erase the entire past; I would never forgive myself. I clutched his bitterly cold hand in mine, & brought my lips to his one last time. "I'm so sorry, my king...I let you down…”  
While it had felt like forever, I felt a warm hand lightly touch my shoulder; it was Claudius, the king's brother & my brother-in-law. I looked up to him, tears streaming down my face. He glanced upon me with sorrow, but said nothing. There was nothing to be said. He knelt down beside me & brought me into a warm embrace, that surprisingly seemed to take away the pain. My weeping faded to soft sniffling, while I rested my head against his chest, his head resting gently, but firmly on mine. I fell deep into his embrace, as he stroked my hair. After all, Claudius was always there for me, as he was for his brother. He always knew how to calm  
me down when I needed it the most. 

Ch. 2: Goodbye, My King  
It was the sound of the guards approaching the garden, that broke the embrace. When they came, I was unable to say anything, except for "He's gone…” Claudius explained to them what he had seen & they listened intently. The guards gathered up my my deceased husband's cold body as they paid their respects to us. As they carried him away, I tried to be strong. But how could I be strong, when I am so weak?? My eyes began to well up with tears, again. But Claudius, being his loving self, pulled me into another long, warm embrace. I was not going to let go anytime soon, & neither was he.

Ch. 3: What Now?  
Eventually, Claudius & I made our way back into the castle. I had no intention that I would wake up today, knowing that I would see my husband for the last time. I will sincerely miss him. He was not just my husband; he was a leader of steel, & a caring father. I remembered putting Prince Hamlet into his hands for the first time; he just glanced into the bright blue eyes, identical to his with a smile. I wondered when Hamlet would come back to Denmark. He has been in Germany for school. But when the news reaches him, he will be sure to return. I long to see his bright blue eyes stare into mine. I missed my son.  
Claudius & I went to the "living room" to clear our minds, but I just could not accept the truth. But the truth is reality. It wasn't long until I began to weep, once again. I buried my face in my hands & let my heart pour out. Claudius knelt down next to me & whispered in my ear; "We'll get through this"...I looked up at him, but it was difficult, because of the kaleidoscopes in my eyes, from all the tears. I somehow managed to speak; "I know…” We hugged again, only this time for a shorter time. "I know that this all just happened so quick, Your Majesty. But, you know that death is only a part of life. I don't tell you this to make you sad. I just don't want you to blame yourself for any of this.” Claudius' words appeared logical, I told myself. "I know. I just miss him…”, I sniffled. "We all will. Don't be hard on yourself. You're a good woman & an amazing queen, with the biggest heart. You did nothing wrong. Remember that.” I stared at him, with a small smile & watery eyes. His eyes looked softly into mine. King Hamlet had such a good brother.  
"So...What now?” I said, breaking the silence. "I don't know.” Claudius simply said. Then at random, he asked me a simple, childlike question; "What's your favorite color?” "Green,” I replied. "Why?” This caused me to smile. "Nature; the trees & grass. Oh...& I also love the colors of a sunset.” He smiled at that. "Me too,” He said. "How do you like my dress? It is too curvy?!” LOL. He eyed me down like a naughty little school boy with a smirk on his face, as I laughed so hard, I nearly fell out my chair. This time around, I asked him a more serious question; "Have you ever loved someone? I don't mean the love of a family member, but the love of someone else.” He slightly smiled & replied, "Yeah...have.” He looked at me, but I hesitated & looked away. "Yeah, right”, I replied, half giggling. Then I realized something; was he trying to tell me that he loved ME?? "Claudius, do you love me?” A few moments later he replied, "Oh Gertrude, I've always loved you. Your brother beat me to the chase, but I inwardly have always loved you, even if I could not have you.” A breath caught in my throat. At that moment, all I could do was feel bad. "Claudius,” I said, "I-I never knew you felt this way...Why didn't you tell me?...” “I couldn't. I didn't want to hurt you or my brother. Anyway, I don't deserve you. You are much better off without me.” "Oh, Claudius", I said. "You are so kind to think of me so lovingly. But I kind of have secretly loved you, too…” He smiled again & I returned the favor. Then, I grabbed his hand & held it hard. I could feel him respond to my touch; he always grew weak, when it came to me. Maybe we were more alike, than I thought. 

Ch. 4: Prince Hamlet  
The next few weeks had gone by smoothly. The funeral had occurred nearly two weeks ago, but I had grown stronger with the help of Claudius by my side. Prince Hamlet had returned for the funeral, & has been nothing but gloomy, since. I comforted him & told him that his father loved him more than anything in this world & always will. He knew good & well that all that lives must die, passing through nature to eternity. When he had accepted all that had happened, he planned to travel back to Wittenberg to resume his studies. But after all of this time, I wanted him to stay. He willingly agreed, but still seemed upset. I really could not blame him; King Hamlet died only three weeks ago. "I shall in all my best obey you, mad'm". I smiled softly to him & gave him a hug. I missed this very much. I knew that these future weeks would be rough; we would just have to be strong.

Ch. 5: Royalty  
As the days continued, Claudius & I have been discussing what must happen, since the King is no longer alive. He told me that I should still be queen. I noted that the throne could technically be inherited to Hamlet. But if not now, definitely after I shall die. Hamlet said nothing of the sort, but I tried to include him in the conversations after all, because he is royalty, too. :) "Well whatever you think shall be fit…” Claudius suggested. I grinned at that. 😂

Ch. 6: What Shall I Do?  
It had been 6 weeks since King Hamlet's death. Claudius knew that I was stressed out, so he decided to give me time. I debated with myself for countless hours about what I should do, concerning the throne. I remembered that if I did not act fast, Prince Fortinbras (King Fortinbras' son) would try to seize Denmark's throne. "What shall I do?...”, I thought to myself. At that moment, I knelt down on my knees & began to pray, "Oh God...what shall I do?” Where do I turn now, since there is no such thing as turning back? I don't know what to do...I burst into tears. Though it seems hopeless at times, I will always have God, my son, and Claudius. It felt like God had wrapped his arm around me & said, "Gertrude, you know what to do…” I tried to think positive; what if I remarried? I scolded myself for that thought. What was I thinking? 

Ch. 7: I've Always Loved You  
After weeks of thought, I decided that I would return to Claudius for ideas. I certainly did not want Norway coming for the throne; #NOTINMYCASTLE 😂👌🏼 When I ventured out to the garden to get some fresh air, I wondered if Claudius was there. A few moments later, I heard footsteps approaching from a short distance. I turned around; the person standing in front of me was none other than the handsome Claudius. "Claudius, I've been thinking...but I still don't know the answer to all of this…” I rested my forehead in my hands, closed my eyes, sat down, & took a long, deep breath. When I opened my eyes, Claudius slowly dropped down on his knees before me, & held my hand in his, in the other holding a beautiful diamond ring. My mouth dropped open, but I did not bother to close it. He looked upon me with innermost sincerity & love in his eyes. "Dearest Queen...I don't know how long it will take to recover from what has happened in the past, but I do know this; I know that I have never measured up to my brother & probably never will. But, he never once taunted me about being younger, or of how magnificent of a king he was. He expressed his deep love for me...And if I could spend just one more moment with him, I would tell him just how much that I love him…” I noticed that a lone tear had streamed down his face, so I waited patiently for him to regain himself. "I looked up to him, & still do. I also look up to you. You are a beautiful, intelligent, & amazing queen, whom I will never deserve. But somewhere deep in my heart, I have always loved you...Gertrude...will you marry me?” I felt a lump in my throat, as I confidently shook my head yes. After I had wiped away the tears, I simply said, "Of course I will.”  
He tenderly smiled at me, like never before. "I don't think I have ever seen you so happy...” I smiled teary eyed. He replied, "I've never been this happy in my entire life.” He wrapped me in his arms, as I pulled him in for a kiss. It felt so real. He DOES love me...I thought to myself. (He can be the king to my queen). We stood there wrapped in each others' arms, for what felt like a lifetime. I felt as if I could never let him go again. (BEAR HUG!!!) 😂 Maybe I CAN be happy, again.

Ch. 8: Memories  
A few days later, I decided that I should tell Prince Hamlet what I have decided. I knew that I had to break the ice sooner than later. I go to his room & knock on the door, but there is no reply. I then went to the garden, remembering that it was his favorite place to be. When I reached the garden, I reckoned that this was where I had found my dead husband's frozen body. I tried to erase that memory & fill it with a better one---the day we met...It made me smile. When I returned to reality, I saw Hamlet sitting on the bench, reading a book. He's always loved to read, though I always preferred to be read to; When King Hamlet was alive, he would rub my feet & read to me. I loved it when he did that...;) He was the greatest husband anyone could ask for. I loved him with all of my heart, & I would always have the memories. I am so thankful that we share a child. Every time Hamlet smiles, I can see his father; a future ruler. I know that Hamlet has a lot on his mind right now, & I just think that he needs to learn more about the throne, before he becomes king. He will be the future king of Denmark when I die. I knew that I would have to be strong for him. After all, we still have each other.

Ch. 9: For Denmark  
When I regained myself, I walked towards my son, worrying about what to say. I practiced with Claudius before, but this time, it was for real. How will he react? Will he hate me? I only believe that this is for the best, for now. I greeted Hamlet, as we hugged for a minute. It felt so good to have him in my arms. When the embrace broke, I smiled at him and took his hand in mine. "Hamlet...”, I said breaking the silence, "You know that I love you with all my heart, and I only want what is best for you…” I glance into his intelligent, cool blue eyes & paused for a moment. "I have been discussing with your uncle about the throne situation,...and I...well...he kind of...proposed to me…” I squinted, praying that he would accept all of this. He stared with disbelief, but said nothing. We both took a deep breath, which both were perfectly in sync, & I grinned. He looked down at the floor & opened his mouth...still no words would come. When I figured I should say something, he cut me off & replied, "Mother...I have absolutely no idea what to say right now,...but...did I receive you well??” I nodded lightly, & glanced at the floor. "I just don't want Norway coming for the throne...we have to act fast. I have no doubt that you will make a wonderful king, but for now, I need to do what is best for our family...I have to do it...for Denmark…” For a moment, as if he had a twist of fate, a tear ran down his cheek & he hugged me. I hugged him back, as he buried his face in my hair. He's always done that since he was born. It gives me a sense of security & love. I could tell that this news hurt him, but in the same way made him feel safe. After all, I always want my child to be happy. And for now, my marriage to Claudius will hopefully hold Denmark together.

Ch. 10: Wedding Plans  
A few weeks later, Claudius & I decided that we should arrange plans for the wedding. Even Polonius, our dearest friend & prime minister assisted us with the organization of the event. My attendants are making me a surprise wedding dress; (I can picture it now :)) We did not want to rush it too much, giving that my husband died only 3 months ago. However, we seem to be madly in love, & I feel that I am ready to start a new, happy life. Also, Norway could attack at any time. I sat alone on the balcony of my bedchamber, as I pictured myself as Claudius' wife, & remaining Queen of Denmark. 👸🏼  
I smiled at the thought & played with my beautiful engagement ring. 💍 Claudius will be good to me, I think to myself. He truly loves me, & I cannot help but love him. I felt guilt, because we both admitted to loving each other long before, neither one admitting it. 

Ch. 11: Gretta  
I have no earthly siblings, since my older sister died when I was only 8 years old, not really knowing what death was, from scarlet fever. She was only 16 at the time, when God had called her to eternal rest in heaven. Her name was Gretta. I always thought the name Gretta was more attractive than Gertrude. It is simple, yet beautiful. Often, I think about her...how things could have been different if she was still here. Now, as my age advances, I've never thought more about my sister than right now, than ever in my life. I looked up to her; (she was my favorite person in the whole wide world...❤️). I've had a lot of things going on lately, with the death of my husband, wedding plans & all, & this only made things heavier. I shed a tear and whispered, "I love you...Gretta Anne......Oh God,...please take care of this angel. As I looked up at the sky, the dawn began. I have enjoyed watching the sunrise, as long as I can remember; I would rise early in the morning, wake my father, & marvel at the sun, lighting up the sky. I hoped that Claudius could fulfill my happiness. I smiled, as I treasured the memories I had with Gretta, knowing that she is with the heavenly King. But, she will remain within my heart. Always.

Ch. 12: The Dress  
Moments later after basking in the reminiscence of memories, I began to think about what my wedding dress would look like. Claudius & I have talked briefly about outfits, before. However, I wanted it to be a surprise this time around, because I have AMAZING attendants, whom would do anything for me. It was going to be a surprise. 

~~~  
A few days had passed, when one of my lovely attendants, Marie (whom has been around as long as I have been queen) asked if I would like to see my new dress. My face lit up in an instant, as I nodded my head with a smile. As I walked into my sewing chambers, my eye caught something bright in an instant—my new wedding dress. It was breathtaking. After a moment of thought, something had dawned on me; The dress reminded me of my old one, only this time more beautified. Tears flooded my eyes, as I glanced in awe of the mastery before me. As I dried my eyes, I smiled at the attendant, hugging her & thanking her for her dedication of time. My eyes wandered quickly back to the dress, as I ran my fingers down the edges, feeling every piece of it. It was long-sleeved, with a white, corset top sheer at the collar line, with lace flowers on the sleeves. I smiled broadly, as I pictured myself in my new wedding dress, walking down the aisle in angel-like bliss. I had a diamond studded crown & high heels that would go perfectly with it. I also would wear the diamond cross that Gretta gave to me, just moments before she had given up her spirit. She would be so proud of me, I thought to myself. ❤️ 

Ch. 13: Letters to Mother  
When the news had reached my mother that I would soon be married, she wrote a letter to me, saying that she would return. I smiled, but felt a slightly nervous about seeing her after all of these years. But I missed her very much, as I dreamed to see her face again. She was a good woman, yet incredibly sassy. ;D She was always a duchess, after all. ;} We have written to each other, but have not seen the other for ages. I missed my mother, & I would see her again.

Ch. 14: Wedding’s Eve  
It was the eve before our wedding and things were going considerably well, in a timely fashion. Hamlet had seemed to brighten up a little, anxious to return to Wittenberg to resume his studies. I still wanted him to stay. But knowing that school is very important to him, I would let him go. 

~~~  
As I waited with anticipation for the wedding, I could not sleep. Giving up on even trying, I arose & walked into the next room where my dress was. I glanced at it, as I ran my fingers gently over the laces. I smiled and closed my eyes for a brief time. In a vision, I saw my past wedding day; I was walking down the aisle nervously, but excitedly. I walked to the altar and looked around at all of the smiling faces glancing at us. I met Hamlet’s eyes, and a sudden rush of joy flooded my heart. Then we said the vows pledging our lives to the other, and our lips met. Everyone cheered and smiled saying, “LONG LIVE THE KING AND QUEEN!!” We smiled as we marched down the aisle, everyone shouting & throwing flower petals. When I left the memory, I smiled a little and glanced at the full moon in the distance. Tomorrow I would be Claudius’ wife. After standing there for quite some time, I decided I should try to get some sleep. As my mind ventured off to sleep, I pictured my wedding day and all that would come to be in just a moment of time.

Ch. 15: Morning  
When I arose, I glanced at the grandfather clock with anticipation; it was nearing six o’clock. I watched the sun rise as I have always admired to do, and decided that I should get ready. The wedding was not until ten o’clock, but I wanted to make sure everything was ready. 

~~~  
As I readied myself for the wedding, I bathed, slipped on my dress and shoes, my attendants pinned my hair into a curly updo, and adjusted my crown neatly on my head. I put on earrings and other jewelry, including Gretta’s cross. When I was dressed, I glanced at myself in the mirror. I looked beautiful. There simply was no other word to describe it. 

Ch. 16: Mother  
As I was taking one last look at myself through the looking glass, I heard a knock at my chamber door. I answered it, and flushed when I saw that is was no one other but my mother...Victoria Anne of England, Duchess of England (to me after all ;D). I looked at her in disbelief, but with an unexplainable kind of relief. I missed her. “Hello, Gertrude'', she said. I responded, “Hi, mom.” We studied each other for the longest time, and I noticed she was tearing up. I brought her into a warm, gentle embrace, and felt her melt into me. We stood there for the longest time. I needed that. She needed that.

~~~  
When we finally broke the embrace, she was the one to break the silence. “I missed you, child. I am so sorry for your loss. He was a glorious king. Is Claudius being good to thou?” “Aye. I missed you more, good lady.” She lifted my chin up with her hand and said, “You look amazing, darling”. I smiled and replied, “How is’t with England?” “Well, indeed...Denmark is not as cold as England...alas, poor country…” “Can that really be so? The Elizabethan age is golden, yes?” “Well, of course. She finally drove off the Spanish.” We both laughed. “Aye. What a brave soul is she to stand to the Catholics.” “Indeed.”

~~~

Ch. 17: The Wedding  
The nerves continued to brew within me. I kept telling myself that everything would be fine, but I was nervous. I took a deep breath & walked through the wedding doors. I met Claudius at the entrance, smiling at him. He whispered that I looked beautiful, & I complimented him as well. I put my hand in his & slowly walked down the aisle. We stepped up the altar before the priest and took each other's hands, facing each other. As the priest was reading us the laws of marriage, Claudius & I smiled at each other in a daze. Polonius, Hamlet and his lifetime friend, Ophelia sat in the front row, along with my mother, as well as my bridesmaids. I smiled at them, and then back to my love, Claudius. As the Priest was readying for the vows, I took a deep breath & closed my eyes. Claudius lightly squeezed my hands. This was it. “Claudius, do you take this woman, Gertrude Victoria Angelica of Denmark, in sickness & in health, to be your lawful wedded wife?” “I do.” I smiled. “And Your Majesty, Gertrude Victoria Angelica, do you take this man, Claudius, in sickness & in health, to be your lawful wedded husband?” “I do.” He grinned & I laughed, emotionally. The Priest faced the congregation & said, “And thou, people of Denmark, do you solemnly swear to uphold the Church of Denmark, & the Queen...& King of Denmark as one unified in Christ?” They replied, “We do.” Claudius looked startled when the Priest said King. He had told me before that he did not have to become King, but I considered it, & now support it. After we exchanged our vows and placed our rings on our fingers, he grinned at me & I nodded at him, pulling him into a big kiss. He then willingly went before the Priest for his coronation. After his vows, I took his hand, & we bowed before the Priest. He smiled at us & faced the congregation once more. The next moment, petals came down from the roof, & Claudius & I smiled in awe. We faced the congregation, smiled, & walked down the aisle. As we walked, I smiled at Claudius with tears of what must be joy in mine eyes & smiled at Hamlet. He surprisingly smiled back. I turned back to exit the Church, the people following us out, throwing petals. On to the wedding reception…;)

Ch. 18: The Wedding Reception  
As we made our way to the reception hall, Claudius pulled me into a hug & kissed me. We would not have much private time until midnight, as custom dictated (too much partying to do ;p.) 

~~~  
As Claudius, I & the guests were seated, Claudius stood up, thanking everyone for coming. He then said, “Thank you all for being such wonderful people. We understand and mourn the death of my brother...the former King...a wonderful King...but I want to let all of you know that I am so blessed to have such a wonderful God, people, nephew, and most of all my beautiful bride...the Queen Of Denmark...because without her, none of this would be possible.” I smiled, as my eyes teared up, and Claudius returned to sit next to me. “That was beautiful...”, I said, & we kissed. It was then time for our first dance as a couple. As we held each other for what felt like a lifetime, we laughed, as Claudius spun me around. When we ended the dance with a kiss, everyone broke out in applause. The rest of the wedding reception went by remarkably fast. As it neared midnight, it was then time to retire for the night. Claudius & I were exhausted. But as we made love for the first time, I felt a love like never before...I wasn’t going to let go anytime soon…and neither was he.

Ch. 19: Honeymoon  
When we woke up, I was still wrapped in Claudius’ arms, and we watched the sun rise over the balcony. As we marveled at its immeasurable beauty, my mind wandered back to my son...for he would be returning to Wittenberg this very day. I didn’t want him to leave, but very much wanted him to be happy & to resume his studies. As I hugged him one last time, he let me go, and boarded the ship, looking in my direction with a smile. I smiled back at him, but I was very anxious. His father had died nearly six months ago, and I wanted him to be settled. Claudius told me not to worry and I decided to just relax & enjoy the day. 

~~~  
The remainder of our day was spent dancing and of course, drinking…:p (But hey, it’s a Dane thing:D) We smiled and laughed as we gave each other our weddings gifts, acting like infantile teenagers on their first date. Claudius was new to marriage, but I’ve had some experience with my late husband. I would never forget him. But regardless, Claudius has shown me unbelievable and consistent support, even through this difficult time. He is the reason I get up every day...and of course, my son, Hamlet. I don’t know what I would do without them. 

~~~  
When it was time for mother to return to England, I hugged her for a long time until we eventually realized that we had to let go. “Goodbye, my dear. I love you and am so proud of you…”, she said, kissing my cheek. I smiled & hugged her again. “And Claudius, thank you for taking care of my daughter.” Claudius nodded at her and smiled sweetly. When her coach drove off, we stood there watching it slowly disappear in the distance, holding each other. 

Ch. 20: A Shocking Discovery  
It had been a month since Claudius and I became husband and wife, though it feels like we’ve been together forever. I had awoke early this morning earlier than usual, because of a stomach ache. I wasn’t sure what was the cause of it, so I took some mint extract, added it to some tea, and slowly drank it. Claudius was still fast asleep, and I did not want to bother him. As I waited for the mint to kick in, I realized that it was doing me no good. So, I arose and put on my robe, deciding to take a walk. Maybe I needed some fresh air. As I walked out on my balcony, I breathed in the morning air. The moon was still in the sky, but I could see the sun slowly drifting over the horizon. I have watched the sunrise every morning, since I was a little girl. When the stomach pain worsened, I took a deep breath and called one of my attendants. Linda took my pulse and told me to relax. I explained to her my trouble, and she put a hand over my stomach, slightly pushing. She asked me if I have had any of these symptoms before. I said no, never like this. “I just feel very nauseous all of a sudden.” She told me that she would need a urine sample to check for any possible illness. When she returned with the news, she had a smile stretched wide across her pretty face. I looked at her anxiously. “What news?”, I asked. “Well, Your Majesty...your test shows that you have tested positive for pregnancy.” I froze. No way in Heaven and earth was this really happening I thought to myself…”What??”, I said confused. “The pain you have been describing matches with the test that you are indeed with child.” “But I haven’t been with child for 30 years, and now???” Hamlet was the only child I was able to carry to full-term...this cannot be…” Or so I thought…”I don’t think I can handle another miscarriage...it would break Claudius’ heart. And now I am potentially giving him a child??” No way in heaven and earth is this really happening...I thought to myself...She nodded her head. “Though there are risks, as are for all women, we see no health concerns and will closely monitor you through it.” I pulled her into a hug and thanked her. I took a deep breath, rubbing my hands over my face in puzzlement, but at the same time...with joy. She gave me some medicine to decrease the pain, and said, “Congratulations, Your Majesty.” I smiled at her, as she left my chamber. How will I tell Claudius? Or should I even tell him at all? What if I miscarry again? All of those questions flooded my mind at once. But then, I thought of us as a family. Claudius will be so happy. He will be the father of my child. I pictured how happy King Hamlet was when I told him I was pregnant. He was so full of joy that he teared up in an instant. I smiled at that. Wow...I thought to myself. I put my hand on my stomach. “Hi there, baby…”, I smiled. “I can’t believe you’re really here inside me. I can’t wait to meet you.” At that moment, fear never once crossed my mind...for I was filled with an uncontrollable joy that sustained my heart. “Our child...mine.” This was a gift from God.

~~~  
I decided not to tell Claudius yet. That night, I awoke in a cold sweat, screaming aloud in fear. “What’s wrong, Gertrude?”, Claudius comforted me, with concern. “Oh…”, I said, catching my breath… “it was just a nightmare…” He just pulled me into his arms and held me tight. I calmed down, but thought about the nightmare. I thanked God it was only a dream. Claudius didn’t worry about asking what it was about, and I’m very glad he didn’t.

Ch. 21: Telling the News  
A few days had gone by, & I decided that it was no use keeping it from Claudius any longer. He was going to find out eventually. For, I was already a month into the pregnancy, and I would begin to show soon. When I accepted that I could no longer fit into my corset, I wore my loosest fitting dress that I could find, and looked in the mirror at my stomach. “Not bad”, I said. When I was dressed & ready, I found Claudius at breakfast, talking to Polonius. Linda was there, & she gave me a look, motioning toward Claudius. “I know...” I mouthed. “Good morning, my love...”, Claudius greeted me, with a kiss. I smiled & sat down. I was already getting those once known pregnant cravings, & seeing the feast before me, my mouth watered. Don’t let them know...I thought to myself. Not yet. I looked at Claudius, trying to figure out how to tell him the news. When we finished breakfast, I asked if he wanted to take a walk in the garden. I smiled as he pleasantly complied. I took his arm in mine, & walked through the garden. When we had walked for a while, I stopped. “Claudius...there’s something I think you should know…”, I said biting my lip. “How now, sweet Queen??” He looked concerned. “If you’re worried, you need not be...it’s not bad at all...I’m fine…” “Gertrude...what is it?,” he asked. “I’m…” I tried to speak, but no words would come. “Gertrude, you can tell me anything. I will help you.” “I know…”, I said. “I just can’t figure out how to say this…” Taking a deep breath I said, “I’m...with child.” I looked at him as he processed what he heard. “You mean...I will be a father?” “Yes!”, I said with a smile. He smiled back & began to tear up. He lifted me up, holding me like never before, as we both cried with mixed emotions including joy. When we broke the hug he said, “Is that what your nightmare was about?”, he asked. I sighed. “I think there is something else you should know…you see...when I was young, after I had married King Hamlet, I suffered several miscarriages...Hamlet was the only child I carried to full-term...that’s why he is so special to me…& why this one will be, too…” “Oh, Gertrude…”, Claudius said. “I’m so sorry…” “It’s okay…,” I replied. “I just need to make it through this. I need God’s strength...I have faith that this will all work out in the end…” I smiled & he smiled back at me. He pulled me into a hug. ”I love you...”, I whispered. He whispered back, “And I love you, my love.” 

Ch 22: Checkup  
When it was time for a checkup, I made my way to my chambers, and closed the doors. I undressed until I was only in my underdress and sat down on the bed. When doctor Linda came in, she came with my other attendants for assistance. She smiled at me, asking how things were going, & checked my pulse. I said I was doing well & laid down. They pulled my dress up over stomach, as she felt my little baby bump. “We’re going to do an internal examination now, if Your Majesty pleases.” “Of course”, I said. I spread my legs & took a deep breath. When it was over, the attendants pulled my dress back down & left. Linda then said, “Well, everything looks great. You have a healthy baby growing inside you.” “Thank you.”, I said. When she left, I felt exhausted, so I lay back in my bed & fell asleep. #PREGNANT LIFE :D XD lol

Ch. 23: Hopes, Fears, & Morning Sickness  
Another month had progressively gone by, beside the tedious morning sickness and cravings. It was five o’clock in the morning when I forced myself out of bed to get something to settle my stomach. Claudius was still fast asleep, and I did not want to wake him. He looked like an angel lying there. He had a sort of smile imprinted on his face. I smiled at him and poured myself a glass of water. If I was not pregnant, I would pour a glass of whiskey. ;p “Good morning, baby…”, I said as I patted my stomach. A moment later, I felt as if I was going to be sick again. I made my way to the pail and threw up what appeared to be my entire dinner last night. When I was almost done, I felt a hand on my shoulder & back. It was Claudius. He held my hair back, patiently. He handed me my glass of water & medicine with a smile. “Thank you, dear.”, I said, taking a deep breath. He nodded his head and guided me back to bed. As I laid down, he pulled me into his arms. After several moments, we drifted away to sleep. 

~~~  
When I woke up again, I glanced at the grandfather clock and climbed out of bed. It was 10:00! I wondered if they already ate breakfast without me. No—I’m the queen...they would not. ;p I got ready and walked toward the breakfast hall. When I came down, the whole court was waiting for me (nonchalantly—talking, etc.). Claudius smiled at me, greeting me with a kiss on the cheek. I smiled as he kissed me & asked, “You guys waited for me? That was very kind.”

~~~  
“Gertrude…” Claudius pleaded. “When do you think we should tell everyone about the...?” “I don’t know…I feel as though I cannot hide it much longer, and I am beginning to show a little...how can I tell Hamlet this?? He will be shocked to hear of it…” “Darling, it will be okay...you have a way with words.” “Maybe so…but how am I supposed to tell my nearly 30 year-old son that he will be getting a new brother or sister?? He will think I am insane!” “Gertrude...I know this is a crazy surprise, but I believe things will fall into line...can you trust me??” I smiled gently at him and sighed. God’s got this, I thought to myself...I just needed hope.

~~~  
“Claudius…” Claudius looked back at me with concern in his eyes. “What if the baby doesn’t make it?” “Sweetheart, we must not think ont’...God will take care of you and our baby…” “I know...but it’s been so long, and Hamlet is the only child I have…I can’t live through another heartbreak, I just can’t…” I broke into tears, and Claudius snuggled me in his arms. “Sorry, I said...just my pregnancy hormones kicking in…” “I’m so sorry you have experienced these things, Gertrude...but I believe God has a plan for you and for our child…” He placed a hand on my stomach, and I wrapped mine around his. We prayed.

Ch. 24: Spilling the Beans  
I was 3 months pregnant, and I decided that I needed to tell everyone. Claudius agreed. I decided to invite Hamlet back during his break from school, so that he could hear the news. We planned to announce it publicly during a service. It was definitely  
time…I readied myself for the announcement, and helped Claudius as well. When we were ready, he took my hand and we walked to the main hall. Before opening the doors, I pulled Claudius into a hug. When the hug broke he asked, “Are you ready?” I shook my head and smiled, taking a deep breath.

~~~  
When we entered the court, we took our seats, Claudius welcoming everyone. My eyes wandered until I met those of my son, Hamlet. “Hello, my love…”, I whispered. He smiled at me, but gave a sort of confused look. Here we go...I thought to myself. ;p When the news broke out, everyone broke into applause and smiled. Hamlet looked shocked. He looked over at Ophelia who was clapping, along with Polonius and the others. After everyone had congratulated us, I chased after Hamlet. Claudius did not stand in my way. I figured he had gone to the garden—I was right. “Hamlet…” I glanced over at him, He turned around to me and said, “Why hello, mother…” No words seemed to come. “I...don’t know what to say…” “Me neither,” Hamlet said. “You know you are next in line to the throne for sure…no doubt about that.” He smiled at me. “I guess this is exciting news...I’ve always wanted a sibling...so maybe this is a blessing.” “Yes...”, I smiled. “I appreciate all that you are, Hamlet...I really do. I know that this year has been hard…”, I began, choking up, “...but God has a plan for us all...you know that, don’t you?” I looked deeply into his eyes, and he nodded. He brought me into an embrace, and we stood there for the longest time. I truly had the best son a mother could ever ask for. 

Ch. 25: Names  
If it was a girl, I planned to name her either Gretta or Elizabeth. If a boy, either Charles or Edward. Claudius said that the gender did not matter to him, and I didn’t really mind, either. But I secretly wanted a girl, since I already have a boy. ;p I did not realize how much you could love someone before you have even met them…

Ch. 26: 6 Months  
I was in my second trimester of pregnancy, and I was feeling it...the classic morning sickness, back pain, insane cravings, and weak bladder were onto me…baby felt the need to move often, especially during sleep...;p I was definitely not in the shape I was 20-30 years ago. Claudius was very thoughtful and kind, should I need a hand, was badgering him for food, couldn’t sleep, or just had one of my meltdowns (hormones). He loved me that much…

~~~  
I was counting each day as I awaited the birth of my second (and hopefully last) child…;p I was anxious considering the events of the past, but I knew that God had a plan for me. Maybe this was a sign...hope was not lost…ever.

Ch. 27: Baby Shower  
The baby shower was beautiful—everyone brought us tiny clothes, shoes, ribbons, rattles, bottles, and “animals”. Claudius presented me with a gift as well...I opened the box...inside there was an adorable little tiara...and a crown (if a boy). I giggled with every emotion, as a tear rolled down my cheek...I imagined what it would be like to hold my future pence or princess in mine own arms...he hugged me, as the women “awwwed” in sync. I was indeed blessed. 

Ch. 28: A Lifetime  
“Claudius! I need food!!!” Claudius hurried, bringing me my favorite snacks...he had a smile on his face, as I took the food from him. He really was a good sport. I put my feet up, and he rubbed them without hesitation. I smiled. “Almost 8 months…”, I exhaled. “I can’t believe it….”, Claudius commented. “I can…”, I said as I rolled my eyes.;p Claudius laughed at me as his hand gently patted my hair. “Oh, look...the baby’s moving...”, I said, feeling my stomach...I placed Claudius’ hand on mine, and he smiled.

~~~  
“I can’t believe we’ve made it this far…”, I said. Claudius replied, “God is good…” “And all the time…” “God is good…” We both laughed and kissed. “Any day now…”, I said. I was eager and anxious...I was kind of scared, even though I am already a mother...but I was most concerned about the outcome in general…But Claudius was so amazing...I never knew that he was the one for me...and it took nearly a lifetime to realize it...

Ch. 29: The Strength  
The days continued to go by as I awaited the birth of my child. I was supposedly just past the eight month mark. My doctor put me on bed rest for the last few months for my child’s and my own safety. I was excited for the pregnancy to be over with (lol). I looked forward to meeting my little prince or princess. I looked through the little dresses and suits of armour with a smile as I imagined a little “me” running around. As advancing in years as I was, I hoped to see him or her grow through the years—the thought of not accomplishing that seemed to haunt me. But after all, this was God’s plan...not mine. “God knows best...”, I told myself...He’s got this…

~~~  
Days later, I arose and got up from my bed. Claudius was gone, so I figured he was getting me breakfast or looking at the daily agenda. I was cramping terribly, so I drank some tea infused with kava to calm my nerves. My attendants were so good to me, and Claudius willingly waited on me hand and foot. I sat down on my sofa, sipping my tea and glancing out the window. It was a beautiful day—calm and gentle. The tea did not seem to be helping, and I felt the baby kicking my bladder, again…”Ugh…”, I thought. I got up to go to the restroom, and my back became tight. I grabbed the edge of a chair, taking deep breaths. My nerves filled with epinephrine as I wondered if this was it—labor pains...this soon?? My breathing became rapid as I took deep breaths and sat down on the sofa. I placed one hand on my stomach and tried to time my contractions. I called for my attendants, and thankfully, they were close by. “I think this is it…”, I moaned. They nodded, helped me up, taking me slowly toward my bed. Claudius ran into the room and carried me to the bed. “Easy…”, I said while taking deep breaths. My doctor, Linda, came in to examine me, and she said, “Well, Your Majesty, you are about 7 cm. dilated. Just keep taking deep breaths...in and out...these should help with the pain…”, she nodded, handing me three little pink pills. Claudius handed me water, and I quickly doused the medicine. The contractions were getting extremely painful, and I could feel the baby pushing. “I think I’m ready”, I said nervously. “Okay, Your Majesty, you can start pushing now…” I knew what to do...I nodded, closed my eyes, and gave a strong push. “Good...”, Linda said. Claudius was behind me, holding my back and arms. He brushed my hair back, and I pushed harder, moaning with discomfort. I flung my head back, tears and sweat rolling down my face. “You can do this, Gertrude...I know you are a strong woman and queen...and when we hold that baby, the pain will disappear…”, Claudius said, stroking my hair. I grabbed his hand, squeezed it tight, nodded my head, and pushed again. “You’re so close!”, Linda said encouragingly… “One more…” I took a deep breath, and gave a strong final push, giving it all that I had...I exhaled slowly, as I felt the burning sensation slip from my exhausted body. A strong, yet gentle cry pierced the air, as my doctor cut the umbilical cord, and cleaned the baby off. “You have a healthy little princess...congratulations to both of Your Majesty’s…”, Linda said with a broad smile. At that moment, my heart flooded with almost every emotion—joy...concern...love...She placed the tiny infant on my heart, and my arms immediately wrapped around her warm body. She was perfect. Claudius smiled as his eyes flooded with tears of joy...mine did, too. “A little small, but she will be fine…”, my doctor assured us. “Thank you...”, I said. Linda replied, “My pleasure...”, she smiled. I couldn’t stop smiling, either. I held her little hand, and to my surprise, she wrapped her fingers around mine. I laughed affectionately...Hamlet used to do this. She was an angel on earth...my little princess...

Ch. 30: A Bond That Can Never Be Broken  
The weeks were going by, and my little princess was growing rapidly. I was still on bed rest, so my days were spent reading and spending time with the baby. One of my attendants came in to take the baby so that I could rest, but I quickly said, “No, it’s okay...she can stay…” They nodded and asked me if there was anything else I needed. I smiled and took my daughter into my arms. “Hi there, sweet girl…” To my surprise, she even smiled. A smile immediately covered my face and I was filled with such joy. As I held my sweet little girl in my arms, I marveled at God’s amazing and miraculous works. He really did give me a miracle.

…  
5 years later…

“Gretta Anne! Be careful, my princess…you could trip over your dress...” “Sorry, mama...I was just playing tag with the rabbits...see, that one is Victoria, and this one is Gertrude…” I smiled as I nodded my head, giggling. “Your brother Hamlet is here to see you!” “Yay! Hello, brother!!!” She had the biggest smile on her face and was giggling, as Hamlet lifted her onto his shoulders. “Hamlet, be careful with her...”, I said with a nervous grin. “He’s fine, Gertrude…”, Claudius jumped in. I shook my head and giggled. He really was a good brother. “When I am queen, there will be rabbits EVERYWHERE!”, Gretta emphasized. We all laughed. “Then that is how it shall be, then…”, Claudius said lovingly, picking her up into his arms. “Yes, indeed…”, I added with a smile. Claudius wrapped his arms around me and we all hugged. I extended my hand to Hamlet, and he shook it, giving a laugh...I yanked him in for group hug as he chuckled with surrender. ;p We all laughed. “Mama, can I go play with my dolls, now?” “Of course, sweetheart…”, I said with a smile. I watched her as she ran to get her dolls, her long, curly blonde hair bouncing in the air. I smiled uncontrollably as I watched her play, and pictured myself at five years old...she was a mini me, but even better...I never imagined that I would have a second child, but there she was—a miracle right in front of me...I was the luckiest mother on earth. God had truly convinced me that NOTHING is impossible...if you just believe. He really does have the power to give life after loss...❤️

…  
Epilogue  
50 Years Later…

My name is Gretta Anne of England. I am an heir to the throne of my parents, King Claudius and Queen Gertrude of Denmark. I was second in line to the throne, since my older brother, Hamlet, was the first heir. My brother passed just a few years ago, as I have assumed the throne. I have three beautiful children, and even one grandchild who are the loves of my life. I have treasured and loved seeing them grow...I see my mother, Gertrude in all of them—their radiant smiles...in their laughs...but most of all in their faith. My mother taught me to never give up, even when there seemed at times like there was no hope left. She has inspired me as a woman and as a queen—her soul will live on forever. Even as she died, she had the biggest smile on her face, telling me that I would be the best Queen ever to rule Denmark. I think about her every day, and what she meant and will always mean to this kingdom. She inspired and continues to inspire us all. My mother endured loss and heartbreak, but she forever held strong to her unshakeable faith. She is a legend who’s love, faith, positivity, inspiration, and honor will go on forever...So even through the trials and tribulations of your life, have faith anyway...because you are BIGGER than those struggles. 

Fin.


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